I was able to stay calm and positive throughout the day today. My fear of needles makes every step of this process so much harder. Even with prescribed medication, my nerves are too hard to handle. Anxiety takes over and I lose control of logical thinking.
So at the scan tonight, it all went downhill. I started breaking down as it got closer to my scheduled time. Crying and hyperventilating in the hallway, people kept looking who it was... just scared me, nervous for the little needle for the intravenous. Eventually I calmed down enough to look into the room. The big door swung open and revealed the scary 'cancer machine' like in the movies. They got me to lie down but I was still a mess. It wasn't until my mom started crying that I knew I needed to get it over with. I kicked her out, sucked it up, and let them poke me like a big girl. Soon enough I walked out of there with a smile on my face. The most exhausting experience yet.
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